Being a gym leader is the pinnacle of success in the world ofPokemon. Maybe a young ten year old upstart manages to become the very best like no one ever was, sweeping aside all challengers and catching beasts long thought to either be extinct or myths, but they’re just drifters. They move from place to place, always passing through. They wear each town like a leather jacket, and when the new wears off they don’t even pack it. Gym leaders stick around, become legends in their hometown, and the entire mythos of their city gets built around them. What a shame they’re all massive losers.
Pokemon is a very dorky game. Not just in its playerbase (I speak as a dork who has played every mainline game and most of the spin-offs), nor in their obsession with trees, but in the fabric of the game themselves. We’re off on an epic quest with mighty monsters at our side, and we fight boy scouts who like shorts, jugglers, fire breathers, geeks with Pikachu t-shirts, and fishermen who only ever use Magikarp and Wingull. In other games you face off against knights, rogues, orcs, demons, assassins, and witches, but in Pokemon it’s Hiker Bob who got lost in a cave, and things blowing up rocks might be the solution. Oh look, Geodude used Self-Destruct and now you’re out of Pokemon. Pay up, nerd.
Related:Being A Pokemon Gym Leader Is Hell
Judging by your opponents and rivals, most people who take on the gym challenge seem to be children, so that already makes gym leaders some sort of extravagant babysitter. Even if we let this slide and write it off as our perspective, with many adults also dedicating their time to this challenge, some gym leaders go out of their way to make the profession seem like it’s only for the nerdiest nerds ever to nerd.
There’s Bugsy, with his weird net he takes everywhere, Milo with his goofy grin and nothing going on upstairs, and the always boring Norman. Roark, with his daft hat and geeky interest in minerals is undermining the rockstar image these gym leaders have, though not as much as whatever is going on with the string of dweebs we hit with Korrina, Ramos, and Clemont in Gen 6. At least we get Valeria after that. Even the ones who try to look cool often end up overcorrecting and coming off as dorkier than ever - talking to you, Brawly, Grant, and Gordie. I mean, come onGordie - you share your gym with your mother. It’s the Pokemon equivalent of living in your mother’s basement. I don’t think I need to explain how Cilan, Cress, and Chili are Presidents of Loserville.
Of course, there are some cool characters in the mix. Clair, Lance, Cynthia, Fantina, and Marlon have more swagger and esteem than the usual badge bastions, and Elesa is one of the most chic characters committed to pixels. But they’re the exceptions that prove the rule - they stand out so much because the rest of the gang are such geeks.
This trend continues further down the cast. It’s easy to think of the gym leaders as cool, slick, prestige figures in the community when you’re cutting about with Hop, Hau, and Wally. I think rivals peaked with Silver and have been going downhill since, but even inSword & Shield, wherewe’re given Hop as the friendly companion, Marnie as the serious competition, andBede as the ‘bad guy’, Bede’s just a stuck up schoolboy with a ‘Young Tories Club’ pin under his fetching pink coat. Marnie, meanwhile, has a cool design, but is constantly followed by weirdos cheering for her, which takes away any shine her disaffected goth persona might have offered.
All of this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Granted, I wouldn’t thank someone if they called me a massive loser - unless they were Elesa, in which case I’d thank her for noticing me and apologise for polluting her presence - but I don’t necessarily mean it as an insult. It’s endearing, and part of the reason I keep coming back to Pokemon.Nemona has a bag of bricks for a brain, but I still love her. It’s just weird knowing how much I used to want to be a Pokemon gym leader as a kid - and, really, as an adult - when you finally figure out they’re the sort who’d remind the teacher she forgot to assign homework.
I still love the gym leaders. I wrote abouthow to play the game as one, and I have a bunch of old notebooks from when I was a kid designing gyms for each type. But that’s undeniably a very dorky thing to do, and it’s how I imagine most of the actual gym leaders built their palace of Poke Balls too. We have enough games about cool heroes saving the world and looking good while doing it. In Pokemon, the greatest thing you may aspire to be is a dork, and that’s beautiful.
