Look, I don’t playDestiny 2. We’ve got lots of people at TheGamer who do, particularly Features Editor Eric Switzer who has been pumping out great Destiny pieces talking about howit finally has sexy dudes, theblast he had at the Guardian Games, and the wayDestiny adapts to changing trends like no other game out there. At least, I assume they’re great. They might stink. I don’t know the game.
The point is, I don’t play, but I know those who do take the lore extremely seriously, so I don’t want to mislead anyone about the level of expertise I have. However, mainly thanks to Eric (but also Destiny’s continued popularity in the field I work in), I understand the basics. Epic heroes sprawling across the galaxy battling the forces of evil as bastions of goodness. It’s that, but less generic. But I’ve just seen The Witness, Destiny’s Big Bad elect, and he’s just a wittle baby.
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Sci-fi has a major problem when it comes to grounding its villains. When they’re just forces out there in the aether, unspeakable beings of unknowable horrors, they become the terrors of our minds, twisted by the ink of imagination into fearsome beasts. They can be whatever we think they are. They are the fear of the unknown lurking within us. But soon enough, they need to be physical, tangible beings, and they never quite live up to how we first pictured them. They’re a pig’s head on a stick.
One of the genius thingsStar Warsdid was put Darth Vader in a helmet. He has the imposing and iconic silhouette, a clear physical form, yet we can still project our imaginations onto him. By the time he takes the mask off, he is defeated and drained of his might - it’s a symbol that he is just a man, and a man who has fallen at that. Destiny also has a penchant for helmets, but The Witness does not wear one. Instead, they have what appears to be a cute little scarf wrapped around their neck and the bottom of their face like a little boy sent out to play in the snow, uwuDisneyPrincess eyes, a button nose, and hair that ripples out like spray foam.
Destiny is a game with a chunky, angular aesthetic. Many of its creatures are heavy set, meaty creatures with sharp corners. In searching for better pictures of The Witness, I found one of their disciple, Rhulk, who has the usual beefy frame and spiky edges. It’s long been a trope that the ultimate master is a smaller, frailer creature than their hulking sidekicks who act as blunt force behind the brains, but Destiny’s is not a decrepit old warlord nor a scrawny scientist. They’re just a wittle uwu baby, yes they are, yes they are, oooh they’re so cute, yes they are.
I mean no disrespect to Destiny players. One of my favourite games isFinal Fantasy 7, and Cloud versus Sephiroth is just Battle of the Femboys. I get that scary dudes taking on scary dudes can get old. But I’ve also been out of the loop on Destiny for a while. I’m constantly aware of when it’s getting big expansions, when it’s up or when it’s down, and Eric keeps me filled in on parts of the lore, but the huge push on Lightfall has been the first time I’ve felt directly pulled into what’s going on. It has been billed as a starting point, a great entry for new players, a chance to face up to all of the wondrous might Destiny has to offer - and it’s this little coochie-choo cherub with the most darling eyes I ever did see.
I love The Witness. I’m probably not going to play Destiny 2: Lightfall, even if it is the best chance for new players to climb about the hype train. You tried, Eric, but it’s not my thing. If an androgynous Disney Princess being who will be there when the universe falls can’t sell me on the game, neither can the new assault rifle. Please stop asking.
