Whether you noticed or not, video game characters have changed a lot over the years. Entire series of games have morphed from beloved 2D gems on simple little systems to sprawling 3D environments jam-packed with things to do and incredible stories to experience.
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That very thing makes me wonder what those young bright-eyed heroes would say to their now grizzled selves. Would they ask about the future? Would they question the fashion choices they’ve made over the years? Look, I know I can’t be the only one ashamed of some of those outfit choices during my teen years. If it was an issue for me, it would have to be the same for characters.
10Samus Aran - “Let’s Talk About Your Equipment…”
Samusreally has come a long way fromthe humble beginnings of Metroidvaniasin theNESdays, hasn’t she? She use to shoot little lemons likeMega Man, and now she’s bopping every Nintendo character in sight with or without a suit.
She’d probably be interested in seeing how her future self coped with having to track down equipment in her first game, only to find she never quite learned her lesson. Somehow, Samus is always the exact opposite of a suburban dad on the day of a flight – hopelessly unprepared.
9Link - “How Hasn’t Anyone Stopped Demise’s Curse Yet?”
We may all be more than well aware of the loreof theZeldaseries, but you know who isn’t? Our main characters. That’s a bit of a weird thought, but you’d have to think that Skyward Sword Link would ask his future incarnations if anyone ever managed to put a stop to Ganon or Demise for good.
Imagine his face after everything he went through to learn that Demise’s curse has the longevity of the internet’s hatred for Nickelback. It wouldn’t matter which Link he asked, all he’d get would be a confused nod and some kind of classic grunt.
As far as cool video game characters go, there was a time whenSonicwas the coolest. The Edward vs Jacob Twilight style of fandom in the nineties was Sonic vs Mario, and considering Sonic ran really fast and was incredibly sassy, he was the clear pick for a lot of people.
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Much like the Twilight debate, the rivalry between Sonic and Mario has died down, but classic Sonic would definitely be asking about the state of the games. Imagine his surprise to learn more people love him taking care of a Chao than they do his classic exploits.
7Fox McCloud - “What Is A Super Smash Bros. God?”
There is a lot thatFoxcould ask of his future self. Wondering why he went on a weird adventure featuring minimal flying and maximum dog-like dinosaur tricks is a solid thing to start with. Instead, he’d probably be wondering why everyone calls him a Super Smash Bros god.
Fox is a bit of a legend inSuper Smash Bros Meleecircles, and it’s quite possibly the most relevant the character has ever been. He may have been hoping for some cool stories of future exploits, but instead, he’d have to figure out terms like “shine,” “jank,” and “four stock.”
6Commander Shepard - “What Do You Mean They Did Nothing?”
A conversation between the Shepard in the final hours ofMass Effectand the Shepard from the closing hours of Mass Effect 3 would be hilarious,as long as it wasn’t about those endings. It would probably be the only time we could have seen Shepard really lose their cool.
They go on so many adventures across the galaxy, save so many people, and at the end of the day, that darn council just doesn’t want to hear about any of it. Ah, Reapers. Who cares? Can’t you just see that flashing Paragon option just waiting to be triggered?
5Mario - “It’s Never Gonna Happen, Is It?”
Throughout all theMariogames, it can be easy to forget that while everyone’s thick-mustached plumber is trying to save the Mushroom Kingdom, he is also trying to win the heart of Princess Peach. He’s beenin over twenty mainline gamesand the poor guy never gets a moment of peace.
He’d probably just be hoping for a nice quiet retirement in the countryside with his princess, but instead, she gets captured again and again. Then there’s the whole situation in which Bowser keeps trying to marry her, and I don’t know Mushroom Kingdom law, but something tells me that might be a bit problematic for Mario.
4Leon Kennedy - “What The?”
Those people who played theResident Evil 2 Remakeendlessly will have heard Leon’s “what the..?” line endlessly. The confused rookie broke that bad boy out every chance he got, even when the appropriate reaction to a zombie trying to kill you would have been something much stronger.
That’s exactly it though, Leon would be astounded by everything his future self had been through. Resident Evil 2 Leon probably doesn’t even know what a roundhouse kick or a German suplex are, but he’ll be a freedom-fighting machine in no time, whether he likes it or not.
3Kirby - “HI!”
Tell me, have you ever actually heardKirbysay anything else? I sure haven’t. The adorable little pink creature would probably joyfully sprint at itself, screaming out that one line from Super Smash Bros, only to hear it back in return.
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There’s really no telling what two Kirbys would talk about. It’s possible they might suddenly break into a deep and thought-provoking conversation, but it’s also possible they’d realize they now had all the power necessary to devour the entire world. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again,never trust a Kirby.
2Raiden - “You’re Telling Me Everything Is My Fault?”
Fans ofMortal Kombatcan have mixed feelings about the story, and for good reason. Someone who loves Raiden might not be happy about the fact that he’s kind of to blame for everything that’s gone wrong in the modern story.
“Wise” Raiden would probably have a lot to think about once his future self let him know that after failing an entire timeline, he left such a cryptic message that it screwed up a second one. I’m still waiting for this story twist to occur in the canon for Mortal Kombat’s third major timeline to begin.
1Cloud Strife - “You’re So… High Definition.”
There’s a lot that can be said about the originalFinal Fantasy 7, and one of the most obvious is how polygonal and chibi everything looked for the most part. Classic Cloud would have a lot to ask ofhis high-definition blonde-haired self, but I bet he’d just stare in awe at his anime-boy good looks.
Rather than a simple text box, Cloud’s whole mouth moves, something that the original might have some serious questions about. Hardware limitations might just be the thing that sends Cloud into a true existential crisis.
